worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
