Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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