doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
