I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
