happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
