You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
