Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
