Don't you send me to vm
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
