is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
