just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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