My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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