Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
