is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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