i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
