i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
