I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
