my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
