I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
