So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
