My friends, they love my intelligence
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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