i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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