Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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