Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize