well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
