you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
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He better not be in your backpack
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
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So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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