I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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