Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
