I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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