She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
tell me about the eggs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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