I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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