I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
