I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize