Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
