Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
