What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
