No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?