I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Your cock deserves a montage
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.