Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
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Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED