Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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