Sry I called you an 8
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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