...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
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