on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
