Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
