This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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