I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
