At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
