my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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