he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm always down for nudity.
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