I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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