Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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