Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
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she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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