hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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