My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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