I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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