Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We talked him into tasing himself.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
