I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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