It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
