Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
