So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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