Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
