yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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