It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
