You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
