Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Four minutes until I can fart!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
