Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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