Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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